Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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