You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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