I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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