You were right. It hurts to walk today.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
