So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
