So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
