You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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