apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
