Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I love you. Go after that dick
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
