I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
