Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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