My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
