By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
