saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
