Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
