then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
