yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I look better un-naked...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
