I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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