very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
