You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
