worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
