I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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