Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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