I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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