I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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