So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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