I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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