yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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