Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The best revenge is premature balding
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
