i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
