ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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