If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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