5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
