Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
