Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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