Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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