I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
