In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
