Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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