HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
