Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
