who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
