I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this just has baby written all over it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
These tits shall not be calmed
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
