I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
