dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
