return my video game
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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