I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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