I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You smell like stripper and shame
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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