Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
sex in a hospital.. check
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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