btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
