I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
