C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
