We won't sleep together?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
