im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
