how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Randomize
